Sick & Starving

Day One Measurements:
Weight 225lbs
Neck: 15in
Waist: 50.5in
Brest: 46.8in
Right Arm: 15in
Left Arm: 15.5in
Butt: 47.5in
Right Leg: 30in
Left Leg: 29.7in

I got up around 7 o'clock and drank 8 ounces of warm water and 8 ounces of "Naked Green Machine" I started feeling sick right away. It didn't really taste that bad it just automatically induced vomiting and stomach cramping. I had my second serving of juice at 9 o'clock and continued sipping on my 20 ounce bottle of water. Feeling weak dizzy and overall just plain yucky I decided to lay down and take a nap. I had the most vivid crazy dreams and was pretty much comatose all day. I had my third serving of juice at 3 and did some strength training for my arms and walked a couple miles. Still felt weak and yucky all day. Had another juice at 6 and continued my water intake but by the time 8 rolled around I was starving and could no longer control my starvation so I broke down and ate. Dang! I couldn't even make it one day! I will get back on the house in the morn...

Dun Dun Dun...IM BACK!

Yay! So I figured out how to sign into my account again! Yay me! Because I am on the brink of a life change and I want to share it with everyone :p So I have not been able to sleep in anticipation of the life change I will be making when I awake, 3 days of nothin but juice fasting and exercise :/ and if I survive? Another 3 days and so on. I am doin this for my health, Im tired of being sick and tired all the time! Im tired of playing victim to food, I dont want it to control me anymore! And my band just played a show last weekend and I was so disappointed about how I looked in photos and on vid! I NEED TO GET MY A$$ IN SHAPE MY FRIENDS! This life change will be better for me overall and bring me closer to nature, how we were intended to be! Wish me luck! See you in the morning!

I'M SO BORED!!

       Why do people say "IM SO BORED"? When they really mean to say "IM SO LAZY" or "IM SO BROKE"...lol....For instance right at this very moment I am bored as hell but I shouldnt be. I have alot of things I could be doing. Could go downstairs and jam on my guitar and sing, could go out dancing, could clean, could go to the gym, could go skating...but then I think MAN, that would take too much effort right now so then that really boils down to the fact that Im too lazy or when it comes to the club or goin skating tonight that can boil down to the fact that Im broke :p

         I guess I could blog..wait a min, Im already doin that....I could nap but I already did that and I dont wanna waste anymore of my day. Geez, its a Saturday night! I should be doing something! Then I make excuses for myself like I went to 2 concerts this week and drove 10+ through Texas and back so I did load myself full of fun this week and I have the right to be exahsted.

          I guess it could be the weather thats finally gotten to me and now I just dont feel like fightin through the damn snow to do anything. GOD I HATE SNOW. I dont just hate it I really, really, really hate it. There are people out there, you know who you are, that ruin it for all of us. Talkin about "I wish it would snow!" or "Let it snow! Let it snow! Let it snow!"  Well, I say F-U DUDE if you want snow then pick ya ass up and move where the snow is!!

            Everytime someone wishes for damn snow around here chantin' it like a G-D SHAMAN it starts a blizzard or an ice storm. So now if I wanna go somewhere I gotta walk through 3-4ft snow drifts to get to my car then hope my car doesnt get stuck when I drive it. I guess I wont be bored.... I guess dancing it is.....Time for me to stop bitchin and get up off my ass :P

I don't wanna move....

              *Yawn* I was just layin' here watchin' Psych one of my newest addictions and about to fall asleep when all of a sudden I remember it's been a few hours since I last tinkled. Ha ha yes, I said "tinkled" Ever since I was a little girl my mom always taught me to use the potty before bedtime. Something as simple as that tiny lil' rule has become an annoyance to me. Seems harmless enough, go to the potty before you go to bed, right? Wrong.
                Some of you may not see where using the potty before bed would be such an issue and I have tried to look at it a million different ways but no matter at what angle I come at it I'm disturbed. I'm nice and snug layin' on my mattress. I've had my feet tucked snug in my covers and they are finally getting warm, in fact my whole body is at a perfect toasty temp. I'm sore from falling and pulling muscles at derby practice. Let's be real...I don't want to get up. I don't want to move.
                   The fact that I don't want to get up doesn't help me at all and with each second my thought of remembering "I should go potty before bed" turns into, "I HAVE TO PEE!" On another note if we call it a "second" why do second's start at 1 instead of 2? Ugh, nevermind that,  there is no way I could go to sleep now. I cant even try to sleep through this boohockey bladder balderdash and it's totally useless to try. Anytime I have ever went to sleep or back to sleep when I had to pee didn't turn out well...No, not what you're thinking but much worse. NIGHTMARES! Nightmares upon nightmares upon nightmares of tryin' to find a bathroom at no avail.
                     Out of all the nightmares I ever had this kind is defiantly makes the worst top 3 list. For hours I would get lost on these excursions looking for somewhere to let the rivers flow. Sometimes I'll even finally find a bathroom but no toilet paper. I hate the drip dry..yuck..won't do it. Or sometimes I'll have no choice but to pee in public and I just wont do it. Thank goodness too because these dreams are so realistic that I might actually let freedom ring fo' real but thankfully I was blessed with this OCD so I will sit here and obsess till I do.
                 So here is me in my dilemma, I have now progressed to the "I REALLY HAVE TO PEE" stage. I'm still in my comfy spot on my mattress, too lazy to move that I wouldn't have been typing this if my laptop hadn't been laying beside me. My legs are firmly crossed under the covers and I'm now playing footsie with myself to distract my bladder while I finish typing my lil' random rant.
                     I wish I could just go to sleep when I'm tired instead of obsessing over going to the bathroom and forcing me back outta bed. Just to be able to roll over and fall asleep after watching T.V., reading a good book, or even after making love but that is impossible for me. The obsessing will beat me every time but then again they do say....
    
              "It's better to have been pissed off
                                            then pissed on...."

It's MY Food And I Want It NoW!!!!

             So I come home from roller derby practice and I'm frickin' STARVING!!! My friend wants me to do this derby diet thingy and I'm all for it but I'm throwing my taste buds one more party with a big greasy pizza! Which works out great for me cuz it's quicker than cookin' somethin else and lets be real its pretty much the only thing left in the fridge. Guess who's goin to the store tomarrow. Hmmm, I wonder if my trips to Walmart would still take 3 hours if they let me keep my skates on...     So I pop the pizza in the oven and lay on the couch and wait. Wow, my son watches the weirdest cartoons. I think these weird cartoons are rubbing off on him considering at this moment he is showing me and my husband how proud he is that he can fart without sharting...I guess that's a pretty big deal for a 3 year old.
              I should be getting up to get my pizza out of the oven that I know must be burning at this point but my bruised tailbone hurts and I dont wanna move...but I'm STARVING!!!!
                      Yep, it's burnt a bit...awe..what a last meal. HOLY FUCK THAT BITCH IS HOTT!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Dammit! Awe, but I'm so hungry! Maybe if I blow on it? SHIT! Nope still not ready...BUT I"M STARVING! I'm drooling over this half burt pizza. I'm goin in for the kill...Crap! Dammit! Now the roof my mouth is burnt! I'm not even gonna be able to taste it now.
            I hate it when this happens. Why can't somebody invent some kind of smart oven or even just remote operated so it can be turned off when it's ready without me gettin up right away?! Uhg, well atleast I wont taste some of this yucky healthy food Im gonna have to eat tomarrow. AHH! This is a prerequisite to dieting tragedy! Why me?! Why now?! I'm totally robbed of my last meal! But I'm starving so I'm gonna eat it. Hot pizza, you are a worthy adversary....

SNORING

      So I have came to the conclusion that I think most homicides where the husband is the victim and the wife is at the trigger end of the shotgun barrel is due to SNORING. I believe this epidemic may very well also be the cause of many divorices world wide. What really causes someone to snore? Exhaustion, caffine, being over weight, layin on your side, rabbits? I dont think so...I think it is purly psychological. Why would I think that? Let me explain.
           When I'm in the living layin down, watchin T.V. I can barely hear my husband snoring, if he is at all. I start getting uncomfortable on the couch and I start thinkin' "Ya know, he aint really snorin' I think I'm gonna crawl into bed." So I get my pillow and start walkin down the hallway, I open the door, I crawl into bed and get myself all in the comfy zone.
          You know what Im talkin about, "the comfy zone" right? It's wear you got your arms and legs and head and neck all perfectly set into place. If you're like me you're layin on your belly with one leg all cocked up with your knee almost in yo face and your butt in the air. You're huggin your pillow perfectly where your neck is supported but your not layin on your arms gettin "dead arm" for once. You're wrapped up in your blanket like a damn body bag cuz your so frickin' comfortable that you think you may just stay this way forever cuz you dont know how you got to the "comfy zone" and you dont wanna lose it.
           Your eyes start getting heavy in a matter of seconds in this zone and you think, "Awe, here it is. Bring on the dreams of Johnny Depp." Then......BAM! INSERT OBNOXIOUS SNORE HERE. You think, "Don't move! Don't even turn your head! Stay in the zone! Maybe he'll stop..." SSSNNNOOORREEE!!! Then you start shiftin your eyes...SSSNNOORREE!! and they get louder and more obnoxious with each snore. So you start to fake snore to be just as obnoxious but that doesnt work. Then ya, "SHHHHHH!!!SHHHH!!!SHHHUT THE FUCK UP!!! He shifts his body and YES! VICTORY! IT'S QUIET AGAIN! I CAN SLEE..... SNORE! AHHHH!!!Then you know you gotta do somethin cuz it is just drivin you insane but you try your hardest to not jepordize the comfy zone. you dont wanna move your arms cuz their the hardest to get right in the comfy zone so you bump him with your hip and it just gets LOUDER. So then you start thinkin' "I wonder if I could get away with murder...." lol na...but seriously sometimes...
                Getting back to the point I think it is psychological. I think that some people just like to have the whole damn bed to themselves and when they feel the threat of their territory being inhabited by another they retaliate by snoring. I think it is the subconciousness's way of growling. I mean even if you try to drown it out by turning on the T.V. it just gets LOUDER. Why is that?

            Short story long, I'm sleepin on the couch tonight... Goodnight everyone...