So I come home from roller derby practice and I'm frickin' STARVING!!! My friend wants me to do this derby diet thingy and I'm all for it but I'm throwing my taste buds one more party with a big greasy pizza! Which works out great for me cuz it's quicker than cookin' somethin else and lets be real its pretty much the only thing left in the fridge. Guess who's goin to the store tomarrow. Hmmm, I wonder if my trips to Walmart would still take 3 hours if they let me keep my skates on... So I pop the pizza in the oven and lay on the couch and wait. Wow, my son watches the weirdest cartoons. I think these weird cartoons are rubbing off on him considering at this moment he is showing me and my husband how proud he is that he can fart without sharting...I guess that's a pretty big deal for a 3 year old.
I should be getting up to get my pizza out of the oven that I know must be burning at this point but my bruised tailbone hurts and I dont wanna move...but I'm STARVING!!!!
Yep, it's burnt a bit...awe..what a last meal. HOLY FUCK THAT BITCH IS HOTT!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Dammit! Awe, but I'm so hungry! Maybe if I blow on it? SHIT! Nope still not ready...BUT I"M STARVING! I'm drooling over this half burt pizza. I'm goin in for the kill...Crap! Dammit! Now the roof my mouth is burnt! I'm not even gonna be able to taste it now.
I hate it when this happens. Why can't somebody invent some kind of smart oven or even just remote operated so it can be turned off when it's ready without me gettin up right away?! Uhg, well atleast I wont taste some of this yucky healthy food Im gonna have to eat tomarrow. AHH! This is a prerequisite to dieting tragedy! Why me?! Why now?! I'm totally robbed of my last meal! But I'm starving so I'm gonna eat it. Hot pizza, you are a worthy adversary....
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