*Yawn* I was just layin' here watchin' Psych one of my newest addictions and about to fall asleep when all of a sudden I remember it's been a few hours since I last tinkled. Ha ha yes, I said "tinkled" Ever since I was a little girl my mom always taught me to use the potty before bedtime. Something as simple as that tiny lil' rule has become an annoyance to me. Seems harmless enough, go to the potty before you go to bed, right? Wrong.
Some of you may not see where using the potty before bed would be such an issue and I have tried to look at it a million different ways but no matter at what angle I come at it I'm disturbed. I'm nice and snug layin' on my mattress. I've had my feet tucked snug in my covers and they are finally getting warm, in fact my whole body is at a perfect toasty temp. I'm sore from falling and pulling muscles at derby practice. Let's be real...I don't want to get up. I don't want to move.
The fact that I don't want to get up doesn't help me at all and with each second my thought of remembering "I should go potty before bed" turns into, "I HAVE TO PEE!" On another note if we call it a "second" why do second's start at 1 instead of 2? Ugh, nevermind that, there is no way I could go to sleep now. I cant even try to sleep through this boohockey bladder balderdash and it's totally useless to try. Anytime I have ever went to sleep or back to sleep when I had to pee didn't turn out well...No, not what you're thinking but much worse. NIGHTMARES! Nightmares upon nightmares upon nightmares of tryin' to find a bathroom at no avail.
Out of all the nightmares I ever had this kind is defiantly makes the worst top 3 list. For hours I would get lost on these excursions looking for somewhere to let the rivers flow. Sometimes I'll even finally find a bathroom but no toilet paper. I hate the drip dry..yuck..won't do it. Or sometimes I'll have no choice but to pee in public and I just wont do it. Thank goodness too because these dreams are so realistic that I might actually let freedom ring fo' real but thankfully I was blessed with this OCD so I will sit here and obsess till I do.
So here is me in my dilemma, I have now progressed to the "I REALLY HAVE TO PEE" stage. I'm still in my comfy spot on my mattress, too lazy to move that I wouldn't have been typing this if my laptop hadn't been laying beside me. My legs are firmly crossed under the covers and I'm now playing footsie with myself to distract my bladder while I finish typing my lil' random rant.
I wish I could just go to sleep when I'm tired instead of obsessing over going to the bathroom and forcing me back outta bed. Just to be able to roll over and fall asleep after watching T.V., reading a good book, or even after making love but that is impossible for me. The obsessing will beat me every time but then again they do say....
"It's better to have been pissed off
then pissed on...."
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